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the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
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