You made me cry and you don't even care
My hand turned me down
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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