There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i came on her dog
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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