Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize