Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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