11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
White coat. Heels.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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