you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
