totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
