Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
