What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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