I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
