I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
