I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We smell like vodka and hangover
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