I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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