R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
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