When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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