I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
