Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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