We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That was before I lit my hair on fire
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize