pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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