Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
