did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize