I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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