If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
