I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
