I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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