gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
