so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
