The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize