i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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