I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
