It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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