ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it