It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.