i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Terrible idea I love it
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?