when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.