U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you