glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
