Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
