This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
