Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
