i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
