is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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