How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
