can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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