I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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