brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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