"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
