ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
