I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
