dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
