Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
