she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
