Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
