why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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