So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
