Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
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i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
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That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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