Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Holy sore nipples Batman
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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