i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize