worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
