I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
