he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
tell me about the eggs
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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