i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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