Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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